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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?